Monday, June 04, 2007

knee, i worship thee

all knobby patella and elastic cartilage, bending at my whim . . .

Why You Should Not Get a Knee Infection:

1. It hurts.

2. It's gross.

3. It'll make you sick with fever.

4. It will make you think that someone has a pin in a doll somewhere.

5. It will force you to look up subcutaenous infections on WebMD where you will learn about necrotizing faciitis and its symptoms. You will quietly decide that you have this and the resulting panic will ebb and flow all day.

6. It will make you spend a lot of time inside, which will make you very cranky. And paranoid.

7. It will cause you to miss work during a condensed summer schedule where every minute counts.

8. Like some colds, it will seem like you are 100% cured in the morning, but will get worse as the day goes on, and leave you distressed and exhausted by nightfall.

9. It will call attention to your other, non-infected knee, and you will start to compare and contrast the two, out loud, to anyone who you can get to look at them (especially your partner, who has been very, very kind), even if it has only been about an hour since the last time you rolled up your cuffs for inspection.

10. It will make you miss your favorite yoga classes.

The Short-List of Good Things about It, if It Does Have to Happen:

1. You might remember how totally awesome your doctor is and it might give you pause over how lucky you are to have health insurance.

2. You might get some anti-inflammatory drugs, which act like mild-sedatives.

3. You might have vivid dreams every night about people from your past.

4. You might have time to read.

5. It might become fodder for a blog entry.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

how do you go about getting a knee infection?

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear about your pain, infections are the worst, make sure to keep up on it, if the infection gets into the bone, the damage is permanate, my dad has a toe that wont bend,from infection.
hey, I talked to Mike M. and he said that Suzzane still live in Hunters Glen, in Delran. He has had to go out and ask her to leave some parking lots where she likes to pick up cigarette butts. the buissness people call and complain. Ah, the glorious life of a suberban cop. he said she is nice but sometimes unresponsive. I told him about her condition. that made a lot of sense to him. Mike has worked with the disabled as well so he is familiar with forms of autism. just a side note

feeel better soon!!!

cake said...

way to make the best out of a crappy circumstance.


...all lacy fingered
reaching for the sky...